The Pain of Regret
by Kirsten Erin
Summary: I followed his lead as we retreated from the battle- from the damage we'd done. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the reality of what I was doing. I was leaving my little brother to die." Mekt's POV during the episode 'Chained Lightning'.


_**Author's Note: Got inspiration for this fic after seeing how few fics there were in the LoSH section and after watching Chained Lightning. I couldn't resist! If you haven't seen Chained Lighting, I suggest you go check it out on YouTube before reading this. It's pretty much what went on from Mekt's point of view.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Mekt or any other of the characters mentioined. I'm just borrowing them. :D**_

**The Pain of Regret**

**By Kirsten Erin**

**A Mekt One-shot**

"Congratulations, Mekt. You're about to become an only child."

The dark voice that belonged to my 'current employer' bellowed these words from behind me. It took me a minute to determine what they meant, my mind was still spinning from seeing the image of my little sister just in front of me, but it was that minute of hesitation that made me too late.

A thick red beam shot out of Imperiex's chest. I watched in horror as it went right past me and hit Garth. He was dragged backward with it, screaming the whole way.

I swallowed thickly as the backs of my eyes began to burn. No! I didn't want to be an only child. I just wanted my family back.

He continued to scream as a burst of lightning shot out from him and his whole body writhed in pain. I wanted to close my eyes, but couldn't bring myself to do it. This was my fault. All my fault.

Just like Ayla's death.

Energy continued to burst forth from my screaming brother and I could just barely see his face twisting in pain as I worked on blocking the stream that was in my direction.

"His energy force is bleeding out!" I heard Brainiac 5 yell over the noise.

My mouth had dropped open like a hundred pound weight as I watched my brother die.

"Garth!" I yelled, mentally willing it all to be a dream. Just another dream one of those horrendous dreams I'd been having.

His friends blocked similiar streaks of lightning and the Destruct-O-Bots burst in syncronized explosions.

"Pull back. We've done our damage." Imperiex ordered. Just like that? My brother was dying right in front of me and he called him damage as if he were some worthless obstacle that was standing in his way? But as he left, I found myself turning away with them. I followed his lead as we retreated from the battle- from the damage we'd done. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the reality of what I was doing.

I was leaving my little brother to die.

* * *

As we got back to our ship, I felt like my head was spinning. Voices screamed through my mind, telling me how worthless I was and how disgusting I had become- and they were right. Even worse, I had another 'vision' of Ayla as I headed toward my room onboard.

"Mekt, why?" That was all she said, but the message came across loud and clear as a small tear fell from one of her dark eyes.

I shut my eyes tight and turned my head away, then found my room. When I got there, I reached for the nearest thing and threw it across the room. I screamed, a mourning wail filled with pain, as I reached for another breakable thing to satisfy my need for everything around me to feel as broken as I felt now.

I killed my sister.

I killed my brother.

Sure, it was Imperiex's beam that hit him. I hadn't told him to do it, but I _had_ told him it didn't matter if Garth died. Blast it all, I'd practically guaranteed Garth's death, but I'd never really planned to go through with it.

For as much as I hated my brother, I loved him so much more.

I picked up a round red disk and nearly chunked it, before rethinking that tactic. I took the object and cradled it in my hands. When I pressed a button, a holographic 2D image shot out of was a picture, one of the twins and I before the accident. I was in the middle, holding tightly to Ayla and Garth as we laughed.

Oh how I wished we could go back to that.

* * *

When I reached the main control room, I exploded. It didn't matter what that idiot did to me, he was going to get an earful if it was my last earful to give.

"That was my brother! My fight! You had no right to step in like that!" I screamed.

Imperiex's face remained impassive as he responded. "Consider it a favor- one less birthday present to buy. There are prices to pay for power, Mekt. This was a minor one." A minor one?! How dare he call Garth a minor price to pay?! "Now, are we ready to begin fueling?" I glared at him with everything in me. Why not have him kill me now? What was I worth anymore?

"Are we ready to begin fueling?" He growled, getting in my face. I took a step back, controlling my anger and self-loathing for the moment. I closed my eyes and tilted my upper body in a slight bow. "Yes." I'd worked for scumbags before. I decided that if I was going to go out, I would go out with a bang. Right now, I'd work with this pompous fool, but the moment I found my opportunity, he would go down- hard.

I turned and pressed the red button that would start the machine that Imperiex was sure would win him the universe, not caring whether it would really complete it's purpose or not anymore. Yet it did exactly what it was supposed to- for a moment. It was then that the ship began to jerk around, and even through the window I could barely see the Legion's ship doing the same. High-pitched noises pealed through the room and threatened to burst eardrums.

I threw my hands over my ears. "The storm is generating feedback!"

"The tanks are holding. That's all I care about." Imperiex responded, shouting over the interference.

It was then that I saw Ayla again, just in front of me. This time she was more static-y, though, and she appeared to be grimacing. "It hurts, Mekt. Make it stop." she screamed, small hand reaching desperately out to me.

"What hurts?" I reached out to take her hand, but nothing was there. I grabbed my head again, biting my lower lip as I tried to sort this out. I must be going crazy! But Garth had seen the figure of her while we'd been battling. I bit back the sorrow that sprung forth as I remembered my little brother. Maybe that was what she meant. She knew I'd killed him too. She hated me for it.

I wanted to die.

* * *

Moments later, we managed to keep the ship from jerking about and the process was moving along nicely.

"We've contained twenty percent of the storm. The canon will be online soon." I informed Imperiex, working to keep the bitterness out of my voice. The sooner we finished this accursed job, the sooner I could get away from where I'd murdered my siblings.

"Mekt!" a very familiar voice gargled as the screen came to life behind me. I spun around, not daring to hope until I could see him with my own eyes. "Mekt, come in! Please, come in!" Garth appeared on the screen with other Legionnare's standing behind him. He looked distraught, like something was horribly wrong.

I glanced behind me to see if everyone else was seeing this too. If this was another 'vision', I wouldn't be able to handle it. But, no, they saw it too. I felt a warm feeling bubble up in my chest as my eyes went wide with disbelief. "Garth! You're alive!" I choked, barely able to keep back the emotion from seeping into my voice.

"Yeah, hope that doesn't ruin your weekend." he shot back, glaring at me. I visibly flinched, knowing I deserved that. "More importantly, so is Ayla."

I'm not sure if I actually stumbled backward or just felt like I did, but my chest felt like I'd been smashed inward by a sledgehammer. I knew a shocked expression was plastered across my face as I stared back at the only twin I thought had made it out of that 'joy ride' we took so many years ago.

"She's in that cloud." Garth continued, almost frantically. "She _is_ that cloud. And if you don't stop powering that weapon, we'll lose any chance to save her!"

My head jerked to look out the window. Everything made sense now. She'd been trying to call out to me all this time. That was why I was having the 'visions'. That's why I was having the dreams. And that's why Ayla told me she was in pain.

I spun around to face Imperiex, determined to keep the twins from feeling any more pain because of me. "You heard him. It's my sister." I said, walking toward him, praying that he would feel some sort of mercy, pleading silently that he would listen to me and leave Ayla alone.

"Trade the universe for a little girl?" he scoffed. "Tempting... but no thanks." And with that, he slammed his hand into the armchair that controlled the canon's intake. It was unstoppable now.

The screen cut off and the image of Garth was gone.

I knew better than to fight Imperiex in here, no matter how much my insides boiled with rage at what he was doing. If I damaged the equipment, Ayla could be permanently damaged or killed. I didn't want to be responsible for that again. So I mindlessly followed Imperiex's orders to assemble outside and fight the Legion. I wasn't sure how I was going to convince the Legionnaires to let me help them, but I couldn't sit back and let her die again. I wouldn't do it.

I stood atop the ship and waited beside Validus, waiting for the Legion to make their move. Sure enough Kell-El, the Superman clone, came whizzing by and a loud crash rocked all around us. I didn't move. I caught sight of Garth then and felt bile rise up from my stomach. A mechanical right arm replaced the one that had been hit by the beam and I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I may not have killed my brother, but I made him lose his arm. What kind of brother was I?

"You're coming with me, Mekt." Garth growled, fists glowing and crackling with electricity. "Whether you like it or not."

I flew up to his level, pulling my black hood off my head as I tore my eyes away from his arm and looked into his. "If it's to help Ayla, I'll do whatever you need." I knew he could see the pain and sorrow in my eyes and hope he understood it wasn't just for Ayla, it was for him too. The fierce determination in his eyes softened slightly as a smile crept onto his face.

"It's my fault. I messed up pretty big all those years ago and guess I've been messing up ever since." I bowed my head, feeling the weight of it all falling on my shoulders. My chest squeezed painfully and I wondered vaguely if it meant I would stop breathing. And if I did- would it really matter? "I'm ready to make things right."

"What about your buddies?" Garth asked, eyes narrowing. I didn't blame him for being distrustful of me. What had I done in the past that told him I could be trusted? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I spun around and saw Validus pinning down Kell-El. Lifting both hands I sent a bolt that knocked him off the kid and Kell-El turned abruptly, brow furrowing as he realized my allegiances had changed. I turned back to Garth, allowing a small smile to appear on my own face. "Consider that bridge burned."

He responed with a genuine smile and I couldn't help but let mine grow wider. It had been a long time since I'd seen that smile and it felt good to be the cause of it.

"Everyone get back to the ship!" Brainiac 5 yelled as he blasted the Destruct-O-Bots closing in around him.

I hesitated for a moment, wondering why they were retreating from the fight. How were we going to save Ayla if they weren't going to bother fighting? I shot Garth a questioning look and he nodded reassuringly, so I followed his lead. We fought our way back to their ship together, side by side, and I felt proud of my little brother- and proud to be his big brother. I decided then and there that if we ever fought this way again, it would be side by side as comrades. I would never let him become my enemy again.

We had just made it to the ship when the canon began having mini-explosions erupt on it's surface and it began to sink. My eyes shot wide and I lurched forward.

"Ayla!" I screamed, but a hand grasped my shoulder. I turned and found the hand belonged to my little brother, who was smiling at me again.

"It's okay, Mekt. That was intentional- we did that on purpose. Now let's get down there and get Ayla back." He reassured me, excitement racing in his eyes. I knew he'd been separated from his twin for far too long.

It wasn't long before Garth and I were in a small room with a glass window near the ceiling. I could just make out the Legionaires that were present- Bouncing Boy, Brainiac 5, Shrinking Violet, and Kell-El.

"The energy cloud has been released. We can begin." Brainiac 5 yelled in to us.

We both gave him the thumbs up and watched as blue energy flooded the room and shot down at us through a small canon-like object.

I grabbed my little brother's hand and we both flug the other hand toward a spot that made us create a triangle of lighting. Blue energy flooded my vision as power surged around me. I could hear mine and Garth's grunts as we tried to control what surged through us. It hurt, but it was the good kind of pain- the kind that told me the pain was worth going through. I watched in amazement as the outline of a young girl formed from the energy and slowly filled in.

Suddenly, the last burst of energy shot through us and sent both Garth and I backward into the metal wall with simultaneous yells.

But whatever pain had come from those bruises was forgotten as a small redhead pulled herself off the broken floor and looked at us. "Mekt? Garth?" she asked, hopefully.

"Ayla!" we both cried out. Garth was off the ground and running before I could blink and I scrambled up to follow him. Ayla jumped into the arms of her, now much larger, twin and he held her close. Bending on one knee, he closed his eyes and squeezed her as if she might vanish. I knew Garth had missed his twin for all these years. They'd been closer than anyone I had ever met, and then she'd been gone- taking a piece of her twin with her.

I came up behind Garth and felt an indescribable ecstacy as my very little sister reached a arm out to me, beckoning for me to join the family again. And I did so without hesitation. Wrapping one arm around my sister and the other around my baby brother, I closed his eyes- finally feeling content.

Everything would be alright now. My sister was alive and so was my brother and they were safe now.

I decided at that moment that I would never let them come that close to death again. I would never lose them again. And I would never, ever betray their trust the way I had.

Never.

From now on, things were going to be different.


End file.
